8 Habits of Successful People

You know what they say about opinions—everybody has one. If you want to see that truth in action, just Google “characteristics of successful people.” Some of the results will undoubtedly point to the famous Marshmallow Study at Stanford, which demonstrated that the ability to delay gratification is a key component of success.

But that’s far from the only theory:

1. According to Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, it all comes down to mindset. She conducted a series of experiments that demonstrated that, while the average person sees their abilities as fixed assets, successful people have, what she calls, a “growth mindset.” In other words, successful people focus on self-improvement and overcoming challenges rather than seeing their mistakes as the products of insurmountable personal flaws.
2. In another study conducted by Penn State and Duke, researchers assessed the social skills of 700 kindergartners. Twenty years later, they followed up and discovered a strong correlation between social skills and success. The children with the best social skills were more likely to have earned a college degree and to hold a full-time job, while the kids who struggled with social skills in kindergarten were more likely to get arrested, binge drink, and apply for public housing.

And the list goes on and on. So, what is happening here? Why are there so many different theories, complete with the science to back them up, about the traits that contribute to success? I think it’s because most wildly successful people are complex—so complex that many of their defining qualities are paradoxical.

Rather than an “either/or” set of static characteristics, they’re more likely to demonstrate both. This is a key to their success. Here are some examples of what I’m referring to.

1. They’re polite, yet completely unafraid to rock the boat. Successful people are, what I like to call, “graciously disruptive.” They’re never satisfied with the status quo. They’re the ones who constantly ask, “What if?” and “Why not?” They’re not afraid to challenge conventional wisdom, yet they don’t disrupt things for the sake of being disruptive; they do it to make things better. Still, they’re polite and considerate, and they don’t draw attention to other people’s mistakes just to humiliate them. However, that doesn’t mean they sit back and let people wander off in the wrong direction. They won’t hesitate to speak up when it’s time to change course.

2. They’re deeply passionate, yet rational and objective about their work. Successful people are passionate about their work, but they don’t let it skew their thinking. They have the ability to step back and look at their work with a critical eye and to accept their mistakes. If it’s a disaster, they’ll admit it, because they realize that it’s better to try something different than to put out something subpar with their name on it. That sense of detachment also allows them to accept feedback from others without taking it personally.

3. They’re convergent and divergent thinkers. Convergent thinking is what’s measured by IQ tests: rational thinking that typically results in a single right answer. Divergent thinking, on the other hand, is less precise. It’s about generating ideas and asking questions that have no solid right or wrong answers. Both are important. No matter how high your IQ is, you’re not going to be successful if you can’t think outside of the proverbial box. On the other hand, you need rational thinking skills to correctly judge whether your ideas have merit. That’s why this particular paradox is so important.

4. They’re both energetic and calm. Successful people seem to have limitless energy when it comes to doing the things they’re passionate about, but they aren’t frantic. They can keep that energy under control. They work hard and focus on the task at hand with devoted concentration, but they’re so smooth that they make it look both easy and fun. Some people are so energetic that they’re hyperactive and unfocused and constantly bouncing from one thing to another. Successful people know how to harness their energy so that it works in the service of progress and doesn’t undermine it.

5. They like to work and play. Successful people personify the often-repeated quote, “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Because they love what they do, they find brainstorming, problem-solving, and grinding out tough projects thought-provoking, engaging, and deeply satisfying. And though they take their work very seriously, the enjoyment and gratification they derive from it blurs the common demarcation between work and play.

6. They’re ambiverts. Successful people are comfortable acting in ways that amplify their introversion and extraversion, depending on what the situation calls for. They can sit in the back of a conference room and silently listen to what’s going on, or they can go up on stage, grab a microphone, and engage a huge crowd—and they look just as comfortable doing one as they do the other.

7. They’re naïve and smart. No one would argue that intelligence isn’t an important part of success, but many successful people also have a childlike lack of awareness (or maybe it’s a lack of respect) for the type of constraints that other people blindly accept. They’re not limited by what other people tell them is possible.

8. They’re both humble and proud. Taking pride in your work is absolutely essential for success, but successful people know they wouldn’t be where they are without the people who came before them and those they’ve worked with along the way. They know that they didn’t achieve their success all on their own, and because they’re OK with that, they don’t have anything to prove. That’s why so many incredibly successful people end up coming across as grounded and humble when you meet them in person.

Bringing It All Together

The reason that there are so many different opinions on what traits are necessary for success—and the reason that so many of them contradict each other—is that successful people are complex. They have a wide variety of paradoxical skills that they call upon as needed, like a mechanic with a well-stocked toolbox.

Bad Habits You Must Get Rid of from Your Daily Routine

You are the sum of your habits. When you allow bad habits to take over, they dramatically impede your path to success. The challenge is bad habits are insidious, creeping up on you slowly until you don’t even notice the damage they’re causing.

“Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.”   –Warren Buffett

Breaking bad habits requires self-control—and lots of it. Research indicates that it’s worth the effort, as self-control has huge implications for success.

University of Pennsylvania psychologists Angela Duckworth and Martin Seligman conducted a study where they measured college students’ IQ scores and levels of self-control upon entering university. Four years later, they looked at the students’ grade point averages (GPA) and found that self-control was twice as important as IQ in earning a high GPA.

The self-control required to develop good habits (and stop bad ones) also serves as the foundation for a strong work ethic and high productivity. Self-control is like a muscle—to build it up you need to exercise it. Practice flexing your self-control muscle by breaking the following bad habits:

1. Using your phone, tablet, or computer in bed. This is a big one that most people don’t even realize harms their sleep and productivity. Short-wavelength blue light plays an important role in your mood, energy level, and sleep quality. In the morning, sunlight contains high concentrations of this blue light. When your eyes are exposed to it directly, the blue light halts production of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin and makes you feel more alert. In the afternoon, the sun’s rays lose their blue light, which allows your body to produce melatonin and start making you sleepy. By the evening, your brain doesn’t expect any blue light exposure and is very sensitive to it.

Most of our favorite evening devices—laptops, tablets, and mobile phones—emit short-wavelength blue light brightly and right in your face. This exposure impairs melatonin production and interferes with your ability to fall asleep as well as with the quality of your sleep once you do nod off. As we’ve all experienced, a poor night’s sleep has disastrous effects. The best thing you can do is to avoid these devices after dinner (television is OK for most people as long as they sit far enough away from the set).

2. Impulsively surfing the Internet. It takes you 15 consecutive minutes of focus before you can fully engage in a task. Once you do, you fall into a euphoric state of increased productivity called flow. Research shows that people in a flow state are five times more productive than they otherwise would be. When you click out of your work because you get an itch to check the news, Facebook, a sport’s score, or what have you, this pulls you out of flow. This means you have to go through another 15 minutes of continuous focus to reenter the flow state. Click in and out of your work enough times, and you can go through an entire day without experiencing flow.

3. Checking your phone during a conversation. Nothing turns people off like a mid-conversation text message or even a quick glance at your phone. When you commit to a conversation, focus all your energy on the conversation. You will find that conversations are more enjoyable and effective when you immerse yourself in them.

4. Using multiple notifications. Multiple notifications are a productivity nightmare. Studies have shown that hopping on your phone and e-mail every time they ping for your attention causes your productivity to plummet. Getting notified every time a message drops onto your phone or an e-mail arrives in your inbox might feel productive, but it isn’t. Instead of working at the whim of your notifications, pool all your e-mails/texts and check them at designated times (e.g., respond to your e-mails every hour). This is a proven, productive way to work.

5. Saying “yes” when you should say “no.” Research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression, all of which erode self-control. Saying no is indeed a major self-control challenge for many people. “No” is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases like “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them. Just remind yourself that saying no is an act of self-control now that will increase your future self-control by preventing the negative effects of over commitment.

6. Thinking about toxic people. There are always going to be toxic people who have a way of getting under your skin and staying there. Each time you find yourself thinking about a coworker or person who makes your blood boil, practice being grateful for someone else in your life instead. There are plenty of people out there who deserve your attention, and the last thing you want to do is think about the people who don’t matter when there are people who do.

7. Multitasking during meetings. You should never give anything half of your attention, especially meetings. If a meeting isn’t worth your full attention, then you shouldn’t be attending it in the first place; and if the meeting is worth your full attention, then you need to get everything you can out of it. Multitasking during meetings hurts you by creating the impression that you believe you are more important than everyone else.

8. Gossiping. Gossipers derive pleasure from other people’s misfortunes. It might be fun to peer into somebody else’s personal or professional faux pas at first, but over time, it gets tiring, makes you feel gross, and hurts other people. There are too many positives out there and too much to learn from interesting people to waste your time talking about the misfortune of others.

“Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events, and small minds discuss people.”   –Eleanor Roosevelt

9. Waiting to act until you know you’ll succeed. Most writers spend countless hours brainstorming their characters and plots, and they even write page after page that they know they’ll never include in the books. They do this because they know that ideas need time to develop. We tend to freeze up when it’s time to get started because we know that our ideas aren’t perfect and that what we produce might not be any good. But how can you ever produce something great if you don’t get started and give your ideas time to evolve? Author Jodi Picoult summarized the importance of avoiding perfectionism perfectly: “You can edit a bad page, but you can’t edit a blank page.”

10. Comparing yourself to other people. When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When you feel good about something that you’ve done, don’t allow anyone’s opinions or accomplishments take that away from you. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.

Bringing It All Together

By practicing self-control to break these bad habits, you can simultaneously strengthen your self-control muscle and abolish nasty habits that have the power to bring your career to a grinding halt.

6 Things No One Tells You About No Shave November

When you think of November, election season and Thanksgiving typically come to mind. This November there are bigger things to be concerned with other than who to vote for or what dishes to make for the big feast. To shave, or not to shave. It’s an important decision.

If you find yourself asking “What is no shave November for?” or “What does no shave November support?” you might want to do some research before shaving your face. The decision to shave or to not shave is a crucial one. So before you let your beard get a little native and type November No Shave in your calendar, you should take a look at the facts first.

What is No Shave November?

This is when guys all across the country drop their razors for an entire month until December 1st rolls around. Some men view it as a competition to see who grows the best beard and others do it truly to support the cause.

Meaning of No Shave November

At some point in the last couple of years you have probably heard of “no shave November”. The whole purpose of no shave November is not to let your beards grow crazy, but to raise awareness for different kinds of cancer including prostate cancer. The goal is to donate the money you normally would use to get a haircut or groom your facial hair to St. Jude or other cancer research charities.

This is a great tradition but the real no shave November meaning and significance often gets lost among all of the jokes, hashtags and hype created by the media. Many men don’t even realize why they do it. Some use it as an excuse to not shave for a whole month. Although the no shave November cause of cancer is a great cause to support, there are other alternative ways to show your support.

No Shave November Origin

So, how did no shave November start? No Shave November started after a father in Chicago passed away from colon cancer. His 8 sons and daughters started this campaign in 2009 in honor of their father. Over 6 years this became a popular thing to do among many throughout the country.

There are a lot of things that people don’t tell you before you decide to participate in this official month of no shaving. From trends to setbacks and to just straight opinions. Even if you like facial hair on a guy, or as a guy it only goes to a certain point. No one likes beards or mustaches that look unkept. Many girls like a man with a well groomed beard, but if you happen to be one who doesn’t, chances are “No Shave November” is not your month.

So What Don’t They Tell You About No Shave November?

1. Not Everyone Can Pull Off or Grow Facial Hair

What about those people who can’t really grow facial hair? If you fall into this category you might already be disappointed that you can’t produce a macho beard. The disappointments will only continue when No Shave November comes around. We hate to break it to you, but no one wants to see a man that can only grow patches of uneven gross facial hair.

Let’s face it; not everyone looks good with a beard. They might not have the face shape or personality for a beard. Sure there is Movember where those who prefer to have a mustache instead of a beard can participate, but not everyone looks good with facial hair, PERIOD. For most women facial hair is only considered attractive when it is well kept and groomed and with No Shave November, that is not the case.

2. Hipster Beards Aren’t “In”

For the longest time every man’s goal was to rock the hipster beard. You couldn’t go to a trendy coffee shop or hip restaurant without becoming lost in a crowd of wannabe lumberjacks. We don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s just not cool anymore. The time for hipster beards is long gone.

3. Not Everyone Can Participate

Some jobs frown upon facial hair. For those guys with jobs that do not allow them to grow a beard, how do they show their support for this cause. Or maybe even the women out there who want to join the movement but are too scared of being judged? There are many people in the world who wish they could, but can’t.

4. Your Beard Has Poop In It

Okay, maybe your beard doesn’t have actual poop in it, but multiple studies (KOAT & NY Post) have shown that your beard might be just as dirty as a toilet. Just because you wash your face or take daily showers does not mean that your beard is squeaky clean.

5. It Takes Longer Than 1 Month to Grow a Good Beard

Usually it takes months and months for any man to grow the most glorious, luscious beard that many women go crazy about. According to Beardoholic, a beard on average only grows half an inch per month. If you expect to grow a hip beard in just one month, you can take your so-called beard to the World Beard and Mustache Championships and see what they have to say.

6. If You Already Have a Beard, You Have to Shave It

You have spent months and maybe years perfecting your beard. If you want to be a part of No Shave November, your hard earned beard will be history. One of the No Shave November rules is that you start out with a clean face. If you don’t feel like saying goodbye to the beard you worked so hard to get you are not able to do No Shave November.

In order to support the charity of cancer research there are other events, products and things you can do to make a difference. The whole reason for No Shave November is to raise money and awareness for cancer. Why can’t we just dedicate a whole month or host another event to do the exact same thing? An event where there are no rules, photos, memes, or other aspects that draw away from the original goal. Before you decide to start letting your hair grow for No Shave November, think about all of these reasons why you should not take part in No Shave November.